Week 18 has been a busy social week, for a number of reasons, including Wednesday night's dinner and karaoke session with my great colleagues, which included my now regular rendition of Copacabana on the karaoke. The computer keeps saying I score only 85 from 100, but I think the wiring is definitely off, especially as myself and John scored a perfect 100 when murdering Elton John's 'don't let the sun go down on me'! Thursday night saw the return of the England vs Australia tennis match, which is pretty much having the same outcome as the cricket games between the two countries... (for those of you who don't follow cricket, it means Australia is winning every time!). Sunday night the whole nation of Vietnam was focused on the Miss Vietnam 2008 contest (won by Miss Da Nang) which was based here in Hoi An, with the most questionable outfits, interesting security arrangements, and freakishly tall Vietnamese women,- the likes of which I have never seen around, so I can only presume they are grown in special scientific laboratories for this single annual purpose!
Now, despite my earlier reports that breaking down the social and cultural barriers, (to be come part of the community) feel like an impossibility at times, this week has allowed me to at least spend time with local people, and through talking over coffee, get a better insight into 'local life'. There were some sad departures too, as my fellow friends (and Triathletes!) Jo & Liz left Hoi An, along with another good friend and co-volunteer - Carole. After a very late Monday night goodbye party, Tuesday night offered me the chance to do the typical Vietnamese friendly thing of meeting up for a coffee (you all know I don't drink coffee, but you get the idea...) with a new friend of mine, Dung. I had previously met Dung, through another Vietnamese friend Bau, who was friends with Liz. Now the great thing here is that people are always asking you to go for coffee, and I am certainly not one to turn down the offer. So avoiding all the tourist style places, we drove /cycled to a really nice looking local coffee shop, where we began chatting about all kinds of stuff, when out of nowhere, a woman appeared to fall to the floor next to our table, it soon became apparent that she had been pushed to the floor by a man standing over her, with a couple of other people standing close by the pair. Suddenly in the middle of this coffee place, the man began to try and seriously beat the woman, as the other people tried to stop him, (I won't give any detail of what happened because it really was some of the worst violence I have ever seen between a man and a woman). This argument then spilled out on to the street, where more local onlookers tried to free the woman from this guy's grip, before she finally managed to run back into the coffee shop. The man then again ran into the coffee shop to find her, but could not and eventually left. I meanwhile had been trying to insist to the staff to call the police, but they continually told me there was no need to call the police and I should stay away. The most shocking thing was how public this entire event was, because I can assure you, here in Hoi An you do not see any serious display of emotion of any kind in public, by local people. Admittedly this man was drunk, but the reaction of other people really surprised me. And you have to ask yourself, why people would not want to involve the police in such a serious assault? I have heard stories of people fearing the police, which explains why people in motorbike accidents just get up, check they are ok, and ride off quickly. This would not have happened in a tourist area, not a chance... I am aware of many situations here where women are treated very poorly by their husbands, and women certainly are expected to make many sacrifices once they are married, whilst the husband appears (to me at least) to be able to continue as he pleases. I must say that I have met many very nice Vietnamese men, who clearly adore their wife and family, but this event certainly reinforced to me just how fundamentally different life can be here in Hoi An.
To more work related matters, I have come across some more very touching cases this past week, including a family of 6, both parents lives near the beach and fish, with 4 boys, 2 of which have muscular dystrophy, one 11, and one 14. Neither can longer walk independently, and it is likely that with the form of the disease they have, both will have died by their late teens, early 20's. I visited them yesterday with our Physiotherapists to check and maintain a wheelchair we have provided for the older boy. Whilst we did this both parents were checking and repairing their nets for fishing, and the younger boy of 11 was sat on a little scooter board, (seat with casters -wheels) so he could at least push himself around.A second case which really had me thinking, was that of a 21 year old girl with cerebral palsy, whose mother was blind in one eye, the father was almost completely blind, and had an amputated arm, and whose grandmother was allegedly senile... we were actually there to see one of her younger brothers to see if we could sponsor his education as the family could not afford to send him to school. This girl had been given a 'wheelchair' made out of plastic garden chair attached to a metal frame, by some guy who proudly documents his 'achievements' on some website, but this is not as good as it seems. Many people have come and donated things in good will, but this help has only worsened some children's condition because the person trying to help does not have any knowledge of what is required. This poor girl had very inflamed and scratched skin at the elbows where her arms rubbed against the plastic, and the chair offered no head support, which actually worsened her general body position....
The third case I want to mention is a particularly sad situation, and not one I came across though work. Its the case of a 12 year old boy who was born with HIV, his older sister and both parents have already died, (his sister at the age of 12), and he know lives a very isolated existence with his grandmother. He is not 'allowed' to go to school, because the other children's parents and even the teachers are scared that he will fight and pass on the HIV to other children. Even the other children who live close by, of which there are not many, are told by their parents not to play with him because of his illness. He already lives in a remote little village, but the isolation he faces is perhaps the saddest part of this story.
Finally, I must share one of my other work cases with you, it is another boy with muscular dystrophy, he is around 15, could no longer walk, and had stopped attending school, he had already described how felt ashamed to go out places because of his 'disability/illness'. There is nothing wrong with this child's mind, and he enjoyed going to school and likes watching football and listening to music. I saw him maybe 2/3 months ago and he looked ok. When I went back to see him this last week, he was in a plaster cast form below his left knee, all the way up to and above his hip. You need to understand that his muscles were already wasting away, so being stuck in this plaster for three months, is really not going to help. The doctors at the hospital did not fix the fracture of his femur bone, they just put him in plaster... (this could have been due to him having problems with his breathing, so very risky to put him asleep for an operation), so now this boy can not even sit up, because the plaster stops him from bending over... he has to lie on a nappy to go to the toilet, and the reason for all this?????... a drunken motorcyclist hit the boy, on the road/pavement, whilst he was in his wheelchair.... the family can not force the driver of the motorcycle to pay or do anything, they simply must accept it and move on... and pay for the help at the hospital...
I simply hope this weeks email gives people a little insight into what life can be like for people in this region of Vietnam, just ten minutes away from the cafes, tailors and the beach, live the real faces of Hoi An, of which most tourists will never see.
The pictures I have on this weeks blog are of kids I work with, but are not of the children who I have talked about, and I just want to say I have asked permission to use these pictures on my blog.
Regards from Vietnam.
Dan
1 comment:
People should read this.
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